Life, Etc. -- Fifteen

“Megan, I’m not sure I can give you the answer you want or need to hear.  I guess I’d like to say first that what little I’ve seen of you I respect.  I like your energy and your courage.  I like the way you respond to people—even Roland Fisher—or perhaps especially Roland Fisher!”  Stephen smiled.

Megan hadn’t heard such a lovely speech about herself in a long time.

Stephen went on, “As you know I’ve been here nearly a year, and I can honestly say I haven’t made one real friend.”

“Stephen, you have an entire congregation!  The stories I’ve heard about single pastors tell of long lines of female parishioners just waiting with casseroles on the doorstep for every meal—one lady trying to outdo another for the prize of the quickest-way-to-a-man’s-heart—and all that!”  Megan screwed up her face into a knowing smile.

“OK, there is some truth to the stories you’ve heard.  But out of that line of candidates, not one friend has emerged.”

 

Megan heard honesty in his voice.  He didn’t show any signs of self-pity but a sincere desire for contact.  “Stephen, I can certainly understand a need for friends—but isn’t there a problem with 'stepping out of the fold'?”—Megan held up her hands to show air-quotes.  “I understand there are many within deeply conservative religious traditions that believe one should not seek any alliances outside their community.”

Just then the waiter brought the food.  As soon as they tasted the salmon they agreed it was a good choice.  Stephen continued, “Megan, let me tell you a little about Christianity if I may.”

“Please do, Stephen, because I really don’t know much about it except from the likes of your head elder.  And I see nothing attractive about the whole idea.”  Megan believed she needed to be honest, though she didn’t mean to offend.

“I'll give you the 25 cent version.  In the United States alone, there are literally 100’s of denominations and organizations that call themselves Christian.  And each one of them, at some level believes it holds the truth.  Baptists believe it; Presbyterians believe it; Latter-day Saints believe it; Catholics believe it.  Some of the more conservative—or those who believe in a literal translation of the word of God—express their truth strongly, and many go so far as to believe that God has spoken to individuals and only that person has a handle on God’s message.

“People like Roland Fisher are most often those who have come from a very painful background or perhaps have a diagnosable mental illness—or in any case, have an extreme need to take control of their world—since internally, theirs is often out of control.  So they latch onto a religious community, or are driven to straighten out the people around them.

 

“I’m not suggesting these are bad people.  In most cases they are completely sincere--though I believe, sincerely misguided--and since they believe their version is the only way to heaven, they feel especially driven to get their truth out to save souls.

“There are also segments of the population who are willing to accept what a leader says without questioning authority.  On one hand this can be a good thing—because some people need to change their lives for the better.  And, in most cases, church authority is looking at teaching good values—honesty, compassion, etc.—to people who need direction.

“But what many of these in reality are doing is making their God reflect what they want and believe.  And it is very easy to look at Scriptures and tweak them in such a way so that one can be convinced of lots of things that are not necessarily spelled out as clearly in the Bible as some think.”

Stephen took a deep breath and put his head down.  With his hands almost prayer-like in front of him, Megan was ready to excuse herself and go to the restroom. Suddenly Stephen put his head up and smiled and winked, “I think I’m giving you more than the 25 cent version.”

“Please go ahead.  This answers a lot of questions for me.”

“Mr. Fisher is one of those extremists who feel so completely out of control in his internal world that he must do everything he can to control his outside world.  Although I feel sorry for him, I am also concerned about him.  I have not been sympathetic with him, and others are calling him on his authoritarian ways—you are also standing up to him.  I’ve noticed a difference in him lately.  I’m afraid he’s about to crack.”  Stephen hesitated for a few seconds and then said, “OK, there it is—perhaps the 50 cent version.”

“So you’re telling me it’s not enough to say that one is a Christian, it has to be narrowed down to a particular denomination?”

 

“Not really, the examples I've talked about pertain mostly to the more legalistic Christians—those who lean strongly to the right.”

“Stephen, I don’t know you well at all.  But you don’t appear to be of that mindset.”

“That’s been part of my problem.  This congregation in Maple Village is a group of good, caring people.  But they do tend to be a more conservative lot.”

“Then why did you become a part of all this if that isn’t the way you believe?”  Megan felt confused.

“I know it sounds very simplistic, but I really hoped that I could help them to see a bigger picture.  When you read the words of Jesus and Buddha and many other saints of old, they all pretty much say the same thing about how we must treat other people.  With Christianity, of course, you have the element of heaven or hell upon which everything is focused.

 

“I want to help teach people that loving acceptance of diversity, whether religious, ethnic or whatever the difference is what enriches life.  Unfortunately, that is not a belief that is easy to accept because it isn’t rule based.  And the conservative mindset finds it easier to follow a list of rules.”

“Wow!  There is so much more to this than I ever imagined.  My hat’s off to you for even considering that you can make a difference in the life of someone like Roland Fisher!”  Megan sat thinking about what Stephen had said.

“Well, remember, Megan.  Mr. Fisher is one of the extremists—so change for him is very difficult.”

The waiter brought the check and Stephen pulled out his wallet.  Megan excused herself to go to the ladies’ room.  They met back at the table and Stephen helped her into her jacket.

To be continued...