IL DOLCE FAR NIENTE -- The Sweetness of Doing Nothing

In my busy life of teaching, I rarely allowed myself the opportunity of il dolce far niente, but those words remained in that something-I-look-forward-to-in-retirement space in my brain.  That and I liked the idea of knowing a few Italian words....  I recently celebrated six years of that blessed place in life, and I'm still struggling with:  As soon as I get my list completed; better hurry or I'll be late, etc...  BUT I may ever so slightly be making progress.

Recently I laid down on the couch at 2 p.m. to read my Book Club book.  So is il dolce far niente accomplished when sleep takes over and 1 1/2 hours later I realize the afternoon is headed towards early evening?  I did NOTHING...so does that count?

I think more than anything, retirement has taught me that I truly loved teaching.  What I lacked then, and still struggle with, is balance.   And that lesson can be a battle at any age.

I am beginning to find a sweetness in waking and realizing I have nothing on my calendar for the day.  I sometimes turn to my bookshelves or movie collection.  I also have a secret enjoyment--walking down a street in some part of town I'm unfamiliar with--the joy of being anonymous--a stranger seeing something for the first time.   

While living in Kenya I'd sometimes take walks in the countryside around the campus.  Kenyans are such friendly people--the children would run out yelling mzunga, mzunga!, and reach to touch my white skin.  More than once I'd be invited into homes for tea.  While technically I was doing something; at some level, because these adventures were serendipitous, they took on the flavor of il dolce far niente--just allowing the sweetness of the moment to take place.

Though never the full time caregiver to my mother, I was the responsible daughter--almost daily visits, scapegoat for her frustrations as she became more dependent, and planning and executing many of her outings.  Since her death, I have more time, and a sense of freshness of life sometimes visits my spirit.  Perhaps that may be my route to il dolce far niente.

As time goes by, and my life finds greater satisfaction, I believe this sweetness of doing nothing has come in the form of contentment--the peace that is also filled with joy, a healthfulness of mind in whatever situation I find myself.  Life, at least at my stage, is not about meeting specific goals, or others' expectations.  It's not about searching for that perfect anything--I'm ever so grateful for that...but about finding contentment in the moment without the distractions of must accomplish lists.

So for me, il dolce far niente may be the loveliness of being at peace with myself.