Phase 1. Total Ignorance. My first New Year's Eve of motherhood, I frantically called the pediatrician in panic because my infant's poop was green! His first question, "Has she started her green vegetables?"
Phase 2. Being-One-Of-the-Kids. I loved the over-the-top activities that included me--birthday parties with lots of howling and laughter. Singing loudly along to vinyl records playing show tunes. That worked great for No. 1 Daughter. However, the it's-really-all-about-mom was replaced by Second Born who stated emphatically, "Mommy, I want to plan my own parties."
Phase 3. Always-Active-PTAer. Involved in it all, and loved every minute!
Phase 4. Religious Teacher. That one I'd like to erase except it gives my daughters great times of laughter as they share with their friends whose mothers also went through that phase.
Phase 5. Absent Mother. Necessary, and I wish could have been different.
Phase 6. Mother of Mothering Daughters. This phase I enjoy sitting back and observing. My daughters have each parented differently. Yet both have produced the most wonderful kids--OK, with lots of help from my son-in-laws. And my role of grandparent is nothing but pure joy!
I'm not with either of my daughters today. But that's really OK because it gives me time to look back and remember. Yes, it would be easy to think only of when I angered too quickly or wasn't available. However, the end result of my years of parenting--along with their very capable father--are two amazing women who do things much more creatively, much more willingly, and much more value-based than I ever have. It seems they took our bits and bobs and mishaps, and created their own unique selves...and isn't that what mothering is really all about?
Funny how life goes on but leaves those marks on our lives.
This time of reflection certainly brings the happiest memories with only a dash of sadness.
-- Unknown
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