A Terrible, Awful, No-good, Very Bad Five Minutes...

This is supposed to be the jolly season...you know, the ho ho ho with bell ringers and carolers, and decorations covering every square inch of the house?  Right?  Of course, right?  Then why, while putting up my holiday lights earlier today, did I turn into a screeching, tortuously bending, twisting, hyperventilating, she-must-be-having-a-stroke, creepy contortionist?  Well, believe me, there is total, complete and amazingly hardcore rationale!

My day started in an it-couldn't-be-more-loverly day.  Put the last load of Thanksgiving dinner dishes into the dishwasher--which has mysteriously stopped leaking!--got dressed, made my bed, fed Gilly, and ate breakfast.  Then headed out to put lights on the front of my house to prove to the neighborhood that I am a real part of the season--no one can ever suggest I wish to kill Christmas!

My work was almost complete when I noticed something wrong...  Wrong plug at wrong end...  Ran for another plug...  Still didn't work.  Damn!  So do I take them all down and start at the other end?  (Hold on--I haven't gotten to my earlier-mentioned trauma...)  Just then my friend Gerardo came by to mow my lawn.  He freaked when he saw me on the ladder--why does gray/white hair make some assume you are on a list destined to fall off a ladder?  He looked at my problem and went to work rearranging cords and plugs and whatever else it took, and turned on my lights.  Loverly!!

I waved as he drove off--happy that I'd promised him he could do the entire task next year.  I proceeded to put my ladder away and picked up the mess on the driveway.  Then I went to place the garbage cans back in order.  THAT'S WHEN I SAW IT!!  A R-A-T!   A RAT!!!   O yes, it was dead--in fact, rather thin so perhaps his demise took place some time ago...  BUT DEAD RATS DON'T LEAVE!  They don't get scared and run when someone (OK, me...) starts yelling and squealing and screeching and tortuously bending, and twisting, and hyperventilating--looking like she (OK, me...) must be having a stroke.

It's still out there--I'm assuming it wasn't playing dead and then sneaked off after my theatrics.  My police officer neighbor is getting a call as soon as he returns home.  I want someone I can trust to be sure I will NEVER see that skinny-bare-tailed rodent again....  

Other than that, it's been a good day...