Facial Hair -- This has always been somewhat of a problem, but within the last couple of years, I've realized it's best to weigh myself AFTER my daily plucking session. So far I don't have the ear thing going, but without constant attention, my chin sprouts a goatee within hours.
Toenails -- Where do those blue and gray and yellow tones come from?
Memory -- Some celebration with this one--temporary memory lapses are a wonderful addition to my exercise routine--retracing steps adds miles a day!
Hearing -- I don't think that's a concern for women nearly as much as for men. And I believe I know why--men historically have not listened to women. As aging sets in, women speak in a lower tone--why bother wasting energy on one who doesn't listen anyway. So men obviously assume they can't hear....check it out--more hearing aids on men than women!
Balance -- During yoga sessions, I notice those of us with graying locks often extending a finger tip towards the wall to accommodate that slight state of lopsidedness.
Weight -- While many women complain that I've lost the figure of my youth, I suggest that extra weight fills in wrinkle lines and is much cheaper than botox!
BUT what really saves the day is:
Attitude -- V-E-R-R-Y positive! I no longer have to please... I don't have to placate... I've earned my stripes! I really don't give a damn.... I love Jenny Joseph's attitude on aging...even if you've heard it, it's worth another read....
When I Am Old
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When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me, And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired, And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells, And run my stick along the public railings, And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens, And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat, And eat three pounds of sausages at a go, Or only bread and pickle for a week, And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry, And pay our rent and not swear in the street, And set a good example for the children. We will have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised, When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple! Jenny Joseph |
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