Loss and Learning once again...

This week I lost...(I want to say a friend, but in reality she was) a casual acquaintance.  The story is tragic.  She was missing from Sunday until Wednesday--when this most loved and admired woman's body was found where on a sharp curve she'd gone off the road and down a steep embankment.

After stepping away from the shock of reading the newspaper account, I thought of the times we'd spent together taking classes.  I think only one time did I run into her and her husband away from the classroom setting.  And now I am sorry our busy lives hadn't crossed paths more often.  And of course I think of her husband.  I can't imagine the pain he's experiencing.

I have no wisdom to explain such tragedies.  I just know they happen, and are devastating to all concerned.

I developed a habit sometime ago.  When I see a date relating to some occurrence...an accident, a child abused, a death...I try to remember what I was doing at that particular time--perhaps laughing over a movie, at a meeting, driving someplace, at yoga--completely unaware that this painful event is taking place.  While I'm merrily living my life, someone else is hurting, trying to escape, running for help, or taking their last breath.

So what can I learn from all the thoughts buzzing around in my head?  Naturally, if I'm not aware of another's problems, there is nothing I can do to help.  Perhaps the lesson for me is that I must live my life with more intention.  I can do those things that bring me and others happiness.  I can also learn from those things that occur, and are not filled with laughter.

I often drive between Medford and Ashland.  Sometimes I only anticipate my destination--a class or lunch with friends or shopping at the co-op.  But when I tune into intention, I see the shapes of the clouds in the sky or the rain spattering patterns on my windshield.  And sometimes the Siskiyous ahead of me covered with snow.  When I take that inward journey, my thoughts are active and alive and give reason to remember the experience and feel gratitude for it.

None of us know what lies beyond death--a new level of consciousness? heaven?  hell?  Some people  have very definite ideas, and that's OK if it brings them peace.  But I haven't met a 21st century Lazarus, so I'm satisfied that I'll learn when the time comes.

Now that my casual acquaintance is gone, I think of the impact she had on me...even in our limited relationship.  She was caring--helping me with great patience learn the English/Scottish dance steps.  She laughed often and I rarely looked at her when she wasn't smiling.  I witnessed extreme courage as she pushed herself to continue her active life--with occasional rests--during chemo.

With this lovely lady in mind, I have new motivation to make every single moment count in this life.  I need to ask myself often what I'm giving back. Am I expressing gratitude?  And I can only answer those ever-spinning thoughts by living intentionally--making deliberate choices and learning along the way.

We must find time to stop and thank the people 

who make a difference in our lives.
            ― John F. Kennedy