Another anniversary of sorts...

For some reason this is the year I've chosen to acknowledge timelines.  I celebrate another one today.  Eight years ago I arrived in Medford to begin my retirements years. My front porch was decorated with balloons and a welcoming committee of three important long-time friends. 

A few months before I had purchased a house ALONE--scariness accompanied closely by great excitement.  Medford is not a new town for me--having graduated from Medford High School some !@!^!% years ago.   I always wanted to return to this beautiful valley.

Eight years later, my house is my home--a place I'm told looks just like me.  (I take that as a compliment...though I'm not sure.)  My very small backyard has the look of a woodland--if I can't live in the forest, I'll bring it to me!   Flowers, shrubs, and trees find a welcome spot--though in all honesty I can't give you the names of most of them. 

Books find a special place in every room.  Jane Austen, Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Shilpi Somaya Gowda, Kate Morton and Maeve Binchy spotlight my bookcases.  I visit with these authors to know more of their lives and cultures.  I love their company!

Yoga and daily walking with my best bud, Gilly, are routines that dominate the better parts of my life.  Volunteering on the Citizens' Review Board allows me to contribute to my greatest passion--keeping kids safe!

Taking classes and dancing away to Austen era music--my mental partner Will Darcy, of course--fill many hours.  And most certainly, new and old friends have an important place in my heart!

No one's life is perfect--and sometimes for no reason but to have a pity party, I am grumpy and out of sorts.  

However, these eight years in Medford have been pretty amazing!  And fun!  And a great adventure!

Life comes from physical survival;

but the good life 

comes from what we care about.

           -- Rollo May    

 

Looking back with a smile.

As I think of a loved one today, I want to remember these words...

I am always saddened by the death of a good person. It is from this sadness that a feeling of gratitude emerges. I feel honored to have known them and blessed that their passing serves as a reminder to me that my time on this beautiful earth is limited and that I should seize the opportunity I have to forgive, share, explore, and love. I can think of no greater way to honor the deceased than to live this way.                                                                                           ― Steve Maraboli 

Betcha' Didn't Know...

I won first place in a ping-pong tournament with my boyfriend in the 9th grade.

I loved peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches as a child.

I danced among the gas pumps of a service station as the songs from American in Paris ran through my head--on the way home from the theatre.

I had the starring role in a school operetta in third grade.

I was also a majorette beginning in the third grade.

I have entered and used male bathrooms all over the world--never liked reading signs.

I broke my arm roller skating as an adult.

I removed a diamond wedding set from a "five and dime" store when I was 13--and returned it--when I finished pretending to be engaged--later that day.

I covered dog biscuits with peanut butter in the 8th grade and gave them to a teacher as a snack.

My first--and last--brass instrument was an alto horn--extreme animal abuse!

I played drums in the school band in junior high.

I am terrified of mice, and will hold spiders in my hands.

I peed along the Columbia River as a train went by 15 feet in front of me--not all that many years ago.

I played badminton as a teenager quite proficiently.

I married my high school sweetheart.

In high school, my favorite perfume was White Shoulders.

As an adult, my favorite smell is horse manure--only my therapist knows the connection.

I love BBC series--they just know how to do it right!

I shattered the overhead stage lights throwing my baton in the air.  The glass came down showering me with bits in front of a large audience.

At 13, while sitting next to my boyfriend, I fell backwards off a 3-tier set of bleachers as we watched a softball came--complete, total, and utter embarrassment!

My favorite activity is English/Scottish Dancing--Jane Austen style.

Mr. Darcy is my one true love. 

I'm a very proud feminist because I believe in equality and justice for all.

We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks.  That's what connects us--
that we're all broken, all beautifully imperfect.  
                                                                                   -- Emilio Estevez 

                                                                                             

 Confession IS good for the soul....

  

Thoughts on Mother's Day...

If I said how many years I've been a mother, I'd have to tell the ages of my daughters--and that I wouldn't do without permission.  But I've been called by that name enough years that I've experienced many phases of motherhood.

Phase 1.  Total Ignorance.  My first New Year's Eve of motherhood, I frantically called the pediatrician in panic because my infant's poop was green!  His first question, "Has she started her green vegetables?" 

Phase 2.  Being-One-Of-the-Kids.  I loved the over-the-top activities that included me--birthday parties with lots of howling and laughter.  Singing loudly along to vinyl records playing show tunes.  That worked great for No. 1 Daughter.  However, the it's-really-all-about-mom was replaced by Second Born who stated emphatically, "Mommy, I want to plan my own parties."

Phase 3.  Always-Active-PTAer.  Involved in it all, and loved every minute!

Phase 4.  Religious Teacher.  That one I'd like to erase except it gives my daughters great times of laughter as they share with their friends whose mothers also went through that phase.

Phase 5.  Absent Mother.  Necessary, and I wish could have been different.

Phase 6.  Mother of Mothering Daughters.  This phase I enjoy sitting back and observing.  My daughters have each parented differently.  Yet both have produced the most wonderful kids--OK, with lots of help from my son-in-laws.  And my role of grandparent is nothing but pure joy! 

I'm not with either of my daughters today.  But that's really OK because it gives me time to look back and remember.  Yes, it would be easy to think only of when I angered too quickly or wasn't available.  However, the end result of my years of parenting--along with their very capable father--are two amazing women who do things much more creatively, much more willingly, and much more value-based than I ever have.  It seems they took our bits and bobs and mishaps, and created their own unique selves...and isn't that what mothering is really all about?

Funny how life goes on but leaves those marks on our lives.

This time of reflection certainly brings the happiest memories with only a dash of sadness.

                                            -- Unknown

Kinda thought those days were behind me...

Last night--just as I was about to head for bed, Gilly started retching.  He went to the backyard to find grass.  He knows there is no grass in the backyard, but he goes on a relentless pursuit every time this happens.  Gilly's searching continued for about 1/2 an hour.   I finally decided my sleep would take place on the couch--closer access to the patio.  I gathered blankets and pillow--feeling more and more in need of them by the minute--then went out to check on Gilly.  He was still looking for grass.

At about 11 p.m., I put on his leash and took him to the newly mown and luscious grass in the front yard.  There I sat in my pj's and robe--half asleep and minus porch light--while Gilly hastily ate grass to enable his tummy to settle.

When we returned to the living room, he made a hasty retreat to the backyard to relieve himself of the grass and other digestive irritation--followed by an even sleepier me hosing off the patio...  Finally, after midnight, Gilly settled at my feet to sleep--while I, at his insistence, rubbed his chest...his soothing place.  Yes, VERY tight quarters with a 70 lb dog and adult on a standard size couch.  

Three hours later, we had a repeat performance of all the above mentioned activities....

This morning I am exhausted!  Gilly is still retching a bit but wanted his food which I gave in a reduced amount.  He's napping and my plans are to follow suit...  

I just thought of the beautiful quote by Anatole France:  “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."  HOWEVER, as I slowly fade into dreamland I'm thinking of the wisdom of those friends who are animal-less...

 

 

Remembering our Mothers...

Mother died three years ago today.  My high school--and still close friends--Elaine and Donna and I packed a picnic and headed into the mountains for a time to celebrate our mothers.  We shared stories--of times they embarrassed us, and more often, we embarrassed them.  And we each thought of tales that the others didn't recall. 

We talked of ways we are very much like our mothers.  We spoke of characteristics we hoped we didn't inherit.  Since our mothers knew all three of us AND one another, there was little ever hidden.  And perhaps that's part of what made today so much fun!

Donna and Elaine's mothers had proper funeral/memorial services, but there was none for my mother--that's the way she wanted it.  Now, three years later, I'm happy to have friends willing to take this time for a ceremony of remembrance.

"Mother, you've been in my thoughts most of this day.  

I still miss you like crazy."   

Ten Years of Change...

Yesterday I celebrated a ten-year anniversary.  I've never regretted the decision that resulted in this milepost.  So to recognize the occasion, I had lunch at a lovely Italian hideaway with a special friend, a bit of retail therapy, and a relaxing evening with Gilly, and my journal--my  self-reflecting tool.

Support of family and friends made the transition to independent living less painful.  I continued teaching for a couple of years, then retired and relocated some 500+ miles southwest.  A good choice!  I reconnected with old friends.  I continue making new friends.  I take classes for intellectual stimulation--I've heard the brain implodes without proper use.  Weekly English/Scottish dancing of the Jane Austen variety transports me to a long ago era--minus Mr. Darcy unfortunately.  Exercise invigorates my body with energy and health.  Volunteer work enables me to give back.

In the last 10 years, I've also spent many hours alone.  Time unattended by another, in the privacy of my own home, I meet myself--my real, no-mask-worn--where-the-rubber-meets-the-road self.  And guess what?  I kinda love my pardner in crime...ME.  No shame or guilt haunt my thoughts.  Nor does any need for perfection.  Consistently, however, is the ongoing desire to live intentionally with integrity and compassion.

And that is why I can celebrate this 10 year anniversary with such joy!

 I wanted to change the world.

But I have found that the only thing 

one can be sure of changing is oneself.

            --- Aldous Huxley